I listen to the same songs over and over, focusing on the feelings they send charging though me.
I avoid the sunlight some days and other days relish the warmth of its gold rays.
I love and love and love and I die in the same breath.
I don't think there is anything quite as personal as the swift breath that burns your throat and your nose in the freezing winter air while you stare out across your neighbor hood and realize that the snow has stifled everything and for once, for once in your adult life, something is pure and clean again.
There is little to help my ever increasingly morose and angry mood except for the small silvery glimmer of freedom. A taste of its sweet flavor last week sent my head reeling and I cannot believe that I gave it up.
My first wish is still true. I must get as far away as I possibly can before things get worse. Things must not degrade anymore and my backpedaling isn't working...I'm facing the wrong direction.
again...
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